My 4-day Somatic Breathwork Experience

I took part in a 4-day practitioner course in Austin last week and went in with a one-word intention; clarity.

To listen to the FULL video on my experience go here.

I have felt resistance and physical exhaustion lately to fully wrap myself around major life decisions such as where I wanted to ground myself and live, and in my relationship with my partner. For someone who has lived around the world and quite literally been living around the world for the past 12 months, my desire was (and is) to find and create a home. I met my partner just under 6 months ago which felt like I had called in my person, yet something inside of me was resisting taking things further. Conflict within was tormenting my ability to move forward. 

This confusion started to feel overwhelming, and for someone who helps people with clarity and purpose in their lives, I felt an even greater sense of overwhelm. Questioning what’s wrong with me!?

As I closed my eyes and entered the first 60-minute long breathwork session, called The Journey, I set my intention for clarity. Inhaling deeply through the mouth for the first half (to spike the nervous system and release stored emotions) I started to release tears uncontrollably. Visions of my mum, her passing, the sorrow, my parents and all the grief that I had held onto for so long as a result of living in fight or flight was expressing itself through my body. As the session progressed I released more tears but with those tears came relief and like a lifted veil I felt a layer of grief and sadness has dissapated. 

In the session and over the next 24 hours clarity came to me with crystal clear vision. Not through my mind but through my body. My body has been yearning to connect to a slower pace of life, to be connected to nature and the ocean. To allow my body to heal - and for once to put myself first. As a people pleaser I have naturally put others before me, it’s what I like to do but with that I haven’t put my needs first and that has cost me; through my body, my nervous system shutting down and my innate inner joy. Especially when my mum was diagnosed with Cancer, and subsequently her passing, I was in constant fight or flight, and putting hers and others ahead of me - over time my nervous system held onto all of these emotions, slowly contracting and holding in all the grief, sadness, and repressed emotions that ultimately were holding me back from true alignment within myself and my relationship.

This realisation felt like a light bulb had gone off inside of me; the answers were always within me, I just couldn’t tap into them because they had been repressed for so long.

I called my partner on day 3 of the course, somewhat nervous but called to share my experience and how I felt. This was the most vulnerable I had ever felt and been with him, or any relationship. To express to him what I needed, knowing that this could mean the end of our relationship as I was going to fly across the world to live in Portugal, by the Ocean, whilst he lives in SF. I share this because it was one of the most liberating conversations we both had. Raw, open and a purely authentic expression. Not only was I able to be me, but this allowed him to open up too about things he’d been holding onto. Sitting there on FaceTime, we were in our most vulnerable states, not knowing where this would go, but sharing our primal needs and feelings.

The breathwork and work we did over the past 4 days allowed me to connect to myself on a level I have never felt. Shedding years of trauma, trapped emotions, resentment, feelings of victimhood and so much more than I could have imagined.

My story is only one of many in the community of 60 people I met this past weekend who had transformational shifts in their lives.

I was always sceptical and a bit of a naysayer when it came to breathwork. Despite being in the wellness space and having tried many modalities from reiki, meditation, yoga, coaching, plant medicine and other breathwork techniques, I never connected with, or had a profound experience with breathwork. But something was calling me to try ‘somatic’ breathwork. I felt like it was a missing link between my mind and body. And that it was!

I know this is just the beginning of peeling back the layers of our onions, to feel true alignment to who we are.

For now, I feel a great sense of gratitude and peace within myself and my body. To be the authentic expression of who I am, Susanna.

I would love to hear whether you’ve experienced breathwork before before. What was it like for you? What have you tried?